ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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