Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize