Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
