Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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