i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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