wat bout pragnant strippers??
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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