Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
