I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
