the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Of course I have a pirate flag
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
