Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just pee around me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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