do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize