alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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