Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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