My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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