420 ftw
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We are all done wearing pants today
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
