We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
