When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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