I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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