Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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