She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
