Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
