Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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