are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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