So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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