He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
