He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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