so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
