why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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