i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
