shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
