New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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