Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
