weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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