So drunk its hurt
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
