I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
