do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
