I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
