Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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