I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
