What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
