A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
the raccoons are back...
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