Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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