Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
