I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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