I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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