what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
