i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
