hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
