Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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