fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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