in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
