Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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