YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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