the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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