okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
