apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
