I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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