My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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