their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
