I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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