He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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