I've blown a few things in my day
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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