He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
