make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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