On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
