omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As shirtless as possible
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
