Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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