I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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