im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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