Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize