We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
