I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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