dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
